I know you didn't mean to make me cry !!

When someone hurts you

Its hard to let go of the pain.....

I know and saw that struggle in you..

with anger and pain,

What I fail to see is that the pain is often our own dreams crashing to the ground

I wish you happiness ever and I stil love you. My love for you was childlike, innocent and pure and came out of the blue and hung just on a feeling but it was the strongest feeling I ever felt. I surrendered my dreams because they hurted you and I would rather bear that hurt than pull at you at the very time that I came to know that you are not thinking on the way I was. I felt tears and sorrow deeply inside and nobody will see it or can guess it. Its part of me now this familiar sadness and hollow and hopelessness. The very sadness I had been running from, and you know it !!.

Nobody ever cared for me and I don't expect anyone ever will. But, knowing you loved someone and that you don't feel the same for me.... I know how the story ended. I've known for some time but I wanted to hang on a little longer. I'm sorry only that I wil meet you as a married woman next.. The fault is all mine and my sadness too. But in my dreams, which were unrestrained, I had a happy life with you and you were good to me...and that is my sadness; knowing it.

I want to run and scream and cry but everything feels bound up tightly inside; only veins and muscles twitch and salty sleepless tears form and slowly fall. Today I have no dreams, no true home... only tears and my only fear is that they will remain forever. Whatever God has now chosen for me, I am just now a feather in the wind and feel unworthy of love. The trailing whisps of dreams are not enough to bear the weight of my sorrow.

When my tears dry, I hope you know I still care and I will not abandon you if you need a friend or a shoulder to lean on. You are still precious and you are in my heart.

Because.... I know you didn't mean to make me cry. neither am I.