I know you didn't mean to make me cry !!

When someone hurts you

Its hard to let go of the pain.....

I know and saw that struggle in you..

with anger and pain,

What I fail to see is that the pain is often our own dreams crashing to the ground

I wish you happiness ever and I stil love you. My love for you was childlike, innocent and pure and came out of the blue and hung just on a feeling but it was the strongest feeling I ever felt. I surrendered my dreams because they hurted you and I would rather bear that hurt than pull at you at the very time that I came to know that you are not thinking on the way I was. I felt tears and sorrow deeply inside and nobody will see it or can guess it. Its part of me now this familiar sadness and hollow and hopelessness. The very sadness I had been running from, and you know it !!.

Nobody ever cared for me and I don't expect anyone ever will. But, knowing you loved someone and that you don't feel the same for me.... I know how the story ended. I've known for some time but I wanted to hang on a little longer. I'm sorry only that I wil meet you as a married woman next.. The fault is all mine and my sadness too. But in my dreams, which were unrestrained, I had a happy life with you and you were good to me...and that is my sadness; knowing it.

I want to run and scream and cry but everything feels bound up tightly inside; only veins and muscles twitch and salty sleepless tears form and slowly fall. Today I have no dreams, no true home... only tears and my only fear is that they will remain forever. Whatever God has now chosen for me, I am just now a feather in the wind and feel unworthy of love. The trailing whisps of dreams are not enough to bear the weight of my sorrow.

When my tears dry, I hope you know I still care and I will not abandon you if you need a friend or a shoulder to lean on. You are still precious and you are in my heart.

Because.... I know you didn't mean to make me cry. neither am I.

Timid !!!

I saw her first
in the words
she wrote
I saw her next
in the words
she spoke
So many days
so far apart
but felt close enough
that she touched my heart...

Shouldn't I show ? or should I not ?

For you !!!

I would hate to say it, but our friendship just can't last. The wonderful times we shared together, have faded to the past. I told you it would happen, that our friendship was bound to end. Although I know you care, I cannot consider you as a friend. Please don't try to argue, just try to understand. That time can change people, as the tide can change the sand. Our friendship has been lovely, but you see it has an end. For now I fell in a different way, I've fallen in love with you my friend.

A mystery in the History !!!

I heard it as one of the infamous, Calm and unclean beaches in singapore, I dint know the mystery of its calmness until i visited there for my night photography, specilally that tomb which conveyed me about the history of that beach. Hmm that was scary though.

You may ask me wats so mystery in that, To explain that, may I take you backdated to 21 February 1942 for few moments please..

About 400 Chinese civilians were killed by the Japanese on this northeastern shore, becoming victims of the Sook Ching purge. And the civilians were made kneeled down on the shore and just shot to dead.

Yes, they were killed on 1942, but the scary story still continues there, I heard from few of my ghost-y friends, I mean the freinds who are interested in looking for some haunted places to feel the negative feelings and paranormal activities, and heard them saying its trivial at night times that too on the Lunar month which is considered as 'Hungry-Ghost' month as per chinese tradition.

Their experience and the photos are well spoken about what they felt there, They explained about the orbs that they have witnessed which can only be seen in EMF lens, from which they beleive that its all of that negeaitve energy.

Well, I am not a beleiver in ghosts, but according to me, There is some positive energy exists in this whole system which some of us may call us as angels, gods etc., with different names as per their own dialects. also, whereever there is a positive then there should be negative too, why not this can be considred as that negative, with the name of ghosts, evils, demons, etc., etc.,

But, I am still thinking about the series of photo which they showed me that the orbs are being gathered over a lighted incence sticks which chinese considered as 'offerings' for ancestor's.

well, whatever it may be.. This mystery never ends.

But, One thing for sure, In the process of finding this mystery, our politicians and religous institutions are producing more and more ghosts :)

The "Errored" Questions from a "Questionable" error

Ever since I turned 25, my mom's vocabulary seems to have gradually shrunk. It now consists of only about five words, usually arranged to form this question: "When are you getting married?".

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard the question, I'd be able to afford a mail-order bride. Maybe even I could think about ordering the one who can speak English. :)

Since, mom and others ask the s[h]ame question so often, "When r u gng to get married", I'm tempted to tattoo the answer on my forehead ( yaaa Man, I am bored of repeating thsi to everyone ) : "I'm a programmer, not a Joshyar".

But if I did that, my mom and I would never talk. She'd just look at my forehead and shake her head. And her expression would say: "Where did I go wrong with this child?, Did I dropped him when he was a child" ? :)

Sometimes, just for fun, I feel like scaring my mom by saying I won't get married until one of these things happen:

- Karunanithi and Jayalalitha Join their hands ( comeon, I am speaking about politics not in their life )
- Hanuman Comes and lift our home & farmland and put it in Mauritiuos island.
- 'Final Destination' series comes to an end.
- Ken Starr has Thanksgiving dinner with the Clintons. :)

hehe :P

It's not that I don't believe in marriage. I just believe it should involve two people who love each other so much and they're willing to risk living together.

RISK ???

It's certainly a big risk. If the marriage goes sour, you can lose some of your most prized possessions. and you are in trouble even if there is very small misunderstadning which can create a gap inturn in your interest on it.

But I could be wrong about the importance of love, Because I have not gone past one. After all, millions of people in my native country, India, believe in arranged marriages, even though such marriages sometimes produce

children like me. :)))

The families of the bride and groom usually do the arranging, uniting two people who hardly know each other. They get to meet and talk for few minutes, then to knot :). The honeymoon is like a first meet and talk, which westerners call as date, except you're certain to get past first base.

To many westerners, an arranged marriage may seem more like a deranged marriage. Most of them believe in falling in love and understanding is needed before marriage. Well, some of them beleive more than that too :), For them, The only mystery left for the honeymoon after marriage is that whether the hotel accepts VISA n Mastercard's, Juzt nothing else. lol.

But somehow these marriages tend to last. Divorces in India are as rare as hamburger joints. By Considering these facts, I also decided to go for it, Decided ?.. naah.. I also have to go for it. Its a forced one rather than the decision.

Come on, how many days one will think of the tattoo in head :).

Its Simply the destiny...... Let it roll :)